Taco Bowl Tester Gifts

The Best Defense for Trump's Wall

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Pet Entertainers

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"Damn these super powers!"

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

Eating raw cake mix.

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

'You look bored, sir - How about the Chef's Surprise?'

"Needs ketchup."

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

' ... plus you need to floss better.'