Tofu Tester Gifts

'Your wife put you on a fad diet?'

"States of tofu"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Veggie Hall of Fame.

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Avocado Timeline

Rust test in progress.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Product Testing Department

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'Wait a second! This fish is made out of TOFU!'

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"