Tofu Tinkerers Gifts

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"States of tofu"

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

The Work-from-Home-Polka

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

Innovate or die.

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

Remote control car breakdown.

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Adaptability

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Repairing the UFO

Humphry Davy: "My isolation of the alkali metals led...to this great battery..."

'Wait a second! This fish is made out of TOFU!'

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

Biker and Cyclist.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).