Tofu Tinkerers Pillows

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"States of tofu"

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

The Work-from-Home-Polka

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

Innovate or die.

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

Remote control car breakdown.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'Wait a second! This fish is made out of TOFU!'

Biker and Cyclist.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Adaptability

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

Humphry Davy: "My isolation of the alkali metals led...to this great battery..."

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Repairing the UFO

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).