Tofu Skeptic Pillows

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"States of tofu"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

'Wait a second! This fish is made out of TOFU!'

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'...Well if this is heaven, why aren't you using a Mac?'

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

Corporate urban legends

The Humpback Whale . . . or as the Japanese call it, sushi.

"Please, no more movies about feelings."

"There were days he could kill for a piece of tofu."

Rational explanations

"More versatile than you think - the building is made of tofu."

"Alrighty, we've got three Tofu Pad Thais, four Green Curry Lunch Specials, side of Veggie Dumplings, and three Summer Rolls with Peanut Dipping Sauce."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

Vegan Insomnia

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Woolly tofu.

'More versatile than you think - the building is made of tofu.'

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

Free Range Tofurkey.

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"All I have is tofu."

"How's the soya, dear?"

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."

"We don't need dirty, ugly vans and trucks. Our tofu-soy-stuff gets delivered to the supermarkets by lovely unicorns!"