Tastebud Tester Gifts

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

Bad for you but to die for

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Big Burgers.

"Damn these super powers!"

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

Dijon Vu

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."