Tongue-in-cheek Taste Tester Gifts

Employees Must Cleanse Palate. ?

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Bad for you but to die for

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

Do it yourself books.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

Dijon Vu

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'