Tongue-in-cheek Taste Tester Gifts

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Bad for you but to die for

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

Do it yourself books.

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Big Burgers.

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

Dijon Vu

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'