Tabloids Gifts

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Sally Jessy Raphael

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Another celebrity couple on its way to a high-stakes divorce.

'You look like an intelligent being -- how would you like to subscribe to the Galactic Enquirer?'

'I hope showing a little discretion over this won't prove to be mission impossible.'

Dirty Harry

News headline: stars without make-up!

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

JET (Part I)

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

Weditorials

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

The Original Gossip Columns

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

Leisure Editor

'Inflated gloom!'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

Welcome to celebrity hell.

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'