Reading Tabloid News Gifts

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

JET (Part I)

Weditorials

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The Original Gossip Columns

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

'Inflated gloom!'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

Leisure Editor

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

Welcome to celebrity hell.

Sally Jessy Raphael

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

Newscorp hacks into itself.

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

A caveman offers another a copy of, 'The Ug Issue'.

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"