Tabloid Reporter Gifts

"How come celebrities work hard all their lives to become known then wear dark glasses to avoid being recognised?"

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

JET (Part I)

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

...and now for the news in briefs...

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Two reporters interview each other.

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Leisure Editor

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

'Inflated gloom!'

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

Welcome to celebrity hell.

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

Newscorp hacks into itself.

Sally Jessy Raphael

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

"Reporting live from my apartment in my pajamas, this is Herb Nielson."

A caveman offers another a copy of, 'The Ug Issue'.