Tabloid Devourer Pillows

Magazine Lover's Weekly magazine

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'

She required plenty of personal space.

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

JET (Part I)

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

Paper Boy

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Weditorials

"We're actually looking for a mourning person."

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The Original Gossip Columns

Leisure Editor

The book that will not be denied!

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

'Inflated gloom!'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

Holiday Reading and Back to Work Reading

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

Newscorp hacks into itself.

Sally Jessy Raphael

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

Books versus TV.