Table Manner Rebel Gifts

Show mother some respect!

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'He doesn't actually drink much. He spills most of it!'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

"The last doggy bag."

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Wine tasters...

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Don't chew your food.'

"I'll have the chef."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

Note: Remote control goes inside the soup spoon.

"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

Eating the Cocktail Olive

'I told you not to live-tweet this.'

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

"Gesundheit!"

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

I don't care who you are - if you didn't reserve the round table. I'll have to seat you in a booth.