Table King T-Shirts

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Counting ribs

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Goalkeeper

The Unhappy King

An infinity pool table

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'