Table King Gifts

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Counting ribs

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Unhappy King

The Goalkeeper

An infinity pool table

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

The Royal Wii

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?