Keeper King T-Shirts

The Goalkeeper

Counting ribs

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Dancing at the Clubs.

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Unhappy King

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

The Royal Wii

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

The Earth as a habitat being poisoned by pollution (symbolised by car exhaust fumes)

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'