Tabernacle Techie Gifts

The Ordered List

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

It's an iphone rehearsal.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Is there an audio edition?"

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

First O.M.G. church.

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

Holy phone

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

"To 01100010 01100010 01100101. – That is the question."

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

Why god isn't listening...

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

'Oh no. A Y1K virus.'

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

No Connection.

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

I'd like to check my e-mail...

"Every time I offer them an upgrade, they click on 'not now'."

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

'Settings> thought store> offload random fears > upload to dreamcloud

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'