System Upgrade Day Gifts

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Fantasy Business Management

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

'I was told it required a log-in...'

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

Computer whisperer.

This is tech support. I will try to correct your problem, or perhaps create another problem.

Man checks the gears in his chest.

"The oracle demands the sacrifice of a virgin or an update of its operating system."

Caveman wheel repairers.

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

I can be upgraded, can you?

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

Working on updates. 11% complete. Don't turn off your computer.

'John's into 'computer-hacking' in a big way!'

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

Very old fashioned computer.

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'

By now you should have realised that I'm incompetent and taken my job...