Upgrade Celebration Gifts

'All those years I rode those small bikes...well, as you can see, those days are over.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

Man feeding his computer money.

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

Help wanted. Various positions available.

Ace headhunters.

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'Time to leave your comfort zone, Hoskins.'

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"Remember saying you'll give us a raise when 'pigs fly?' Well, it's time to pay up."

'Ok, Barker. I'll give you your own office - if you promise you won't mark it.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'