Swordplay Surrealist Gifts

'Well, it's a change from knives and guns, I suppose.'

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Pub Kendo.

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Swords for Making America Great Again

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

Dali Clock

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Scheduel.

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Artist Uses Fencing Skills To Create Abstract Pieces