Swordplay Satire Gifts

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

Pub Kendo.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Scheduel.

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

'Razed any good cities lately?'

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

Artist Uses Fencing Skills To Create Abstract Pieces