Swordplay Satirist Gifts

'Methinks thou are a day late and a shilling short."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

Pub Kendo.

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Corporate pirate.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

The strong corna war

Scheduel.

Swords for Making America Great Again

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Fencing Lessons

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

'Razed any good cities lately?'

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

Artist Uses Fencing Skills To Create Abstract Pieces

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with!'