Switching Majors Gifts

'My son is in college and switched out of engineering into fraternity partying. He days he finds it less intense.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Caged Businessman

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Cat job interviews.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"Any experience?"

'Your resume says you have a B.A. in medieval history, a M.A. in modern art, and a PhD in metaphysical poetry. Have you checked us out on the internet? We design and manufacture detonation switches for drones.'

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

Respected Professionals

"I used to be a veterinarian."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."