Switch-off Master Gifts

'I really admire Paul. He's able to switch off work once he leaves the office.'

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'Just remember lads, when the drummer misses a beat we all miss a beat.'

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'You're a funny beggar, switching off the sound just because Joanna Lumley is ENTHUSING!'

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

'And this is where daddy goes through the motions.'

Mind control

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Stick man throws arm for dog

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

'I play it to kill time.'

New Years Resolution

"Fred is the counterpoint to a perpetual motion machine."

Olde Time Dance Society

Life is so much better...withremote control

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

I get to make the rules because I'm rich & you're not!

Dan wasn't disabled or anything; he just moved better in a chair.

'We've given TV up for Lent. My dad's just keeping his remote thumb in shape.'

The Beat

'These teleconferences have become a lot more civil since I installed this 7 second delay.'