Quit Master Gifts

'As a matter of fact, he quit smoking three years ago.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Wordplay: Export.

Note Book

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

Jokes machine.

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Bat out of Hell

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

Backdoor

Mind control

Is that a new hi-tech remote? Yeah, it's a real game-changer!

'You're a funny beggar, switching off the sound just because Joanna Lumley is ENTHUSING!'

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"You don't need English on every shot."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'He's lost a lot of eight-ball.'

Thanks TSA

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

Seat Belt

The Chips Are Down

"I want out!"

Using a sink plunger to retrieve a golf ball.

New Years Resolution

Life is so much better...withremote control

Shriek! Scream! Yell louder. Bellow! More rage, please. Debate club?! Yeah. They switched to a cable tv talk show format.

Olde Time Dance Society

James Maddison

"I'm leaving early, before mission creep takes over."

Sage and Onion