Switch-off Master Pillows

'I really admire Paul. He's able to switch off work once he leaves the office.'

Cimafunk

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'Just remember lads, when the drummer misses a beat we all miss a beat.'

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

'And this is where daddy goes through the motions.'

Mind control

'You're a funny beggar, switching off the sound just because Joanna Lumley is ENTHUSING!'

Is that a new hi-tech remote? Yeah, it's a real game-changer!

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'I play it to kill time.'

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

Stick man throws arm for dog

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

"He began his career as an interior house painter, and stuck with the tools he was comfortable with."

Olde Time Dance Society

"Fred is the counterpoint to a perpetual motion machine."

New Years Resolution

Life is so much better...withremote control

Dan wasn't disabled or anything; he just moved better in a chair.

I get to make the rules because I'm rich & you're not!

'We've given TV up for Lent. My dad's just keeping his remote thumb in shape.'

'These teleconferences have become a lot more civil since I installed this 7 second delay.'