Move Master Pillows

Olde Time Dance Society

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

National Coffee Day

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Where are the kids?'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Claviers

Pest control, with death.

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

"Congratulations, dad! You won for 'Most Imaginative Maneuver' on a skateboard!"

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

Nest building

One Man and Two Trucks

Servant talking to her old master about her new position