Maneuver Master Pillows

"Congratulations, dad! You won for 'Most Imaginative Maneuver' on a skateboard!"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

National Coffee Day

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Important Muscles.

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

A dancing man wearing a red-striped top

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Where are the kids?'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

Nest building

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Claviers

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

One Man and Two Trucks

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

Digger.

'Bird menu.'

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'