Swiss Army Sleuth T-Shirts

The Swiss Army Mammoth

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

The Modern Godot

Spy Satellite

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Optician and the PI.

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"We worked out how to make the watch smaller, now we just need to figure out how to make it lighter!"

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

Sherlock Holmes.

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'

Six Degrees of Depradation

"I'm not saying the lamb is good, but nobody's complained about it yet."

'...But in case God misses something...'

"I think it was done with mirrors."

Detective follows footprints leading to a pair of shoes.

"People are scum."

Julian Assange

wikileaks

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'