Sleuthing Veteran T-Shirts

"And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids, and the bloodstains on my clothes and in the trunk of my car!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Joan Hickson

That's supposed to say garage sale!

The Modern Godot

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

Private detective looking very conspicuous while the suspect is saying 'He hasn't really got the hang of discreet surveillance, has he?'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

Optician and the PI.

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

'But Holmes, how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?'

"The butler did it!"

"It's a puzzling case, Watson. For all I know, the culprit could be staring me right in the face."

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

Auditing

Sherlock Holmes.

Six Degrees of Depradation

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

Arthur Conan Doyle, MD, observes a passerby who has touch stains on his fingers, paint on his trousers and plaster on his jacket, and quickly deduces the man is a slob.

Detective with a magnifying glass.

"People are scum."

"I think it was done with mirrors."

Detective follows footprints leading to a pair of shoes.

'...But in case God misses something...'

Unusual Sports: Shooting Skiers

Detective Honky