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"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

Inept police investigators at work solving a murder.

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'

'He doesn't sound familiar, but you're welcome to rummage around to see if anyone has turned him in.'

Man investigating man investigating footprints.

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

Increase in crime

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Joan Hickson

Detective and child follow footprints using magnifying glasses.

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

Private detective looking very conspicuous while the suspect is saying 'He hasn't really got the hang of discreet surveillance, has he?'

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

Optician and the PI.

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'He's not having an affair Ma'am: He goes out at night mainly to chase cars and eat from garbage bins...'

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

"I love people-watching."

'But Holmes, how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?'

"The butler did it!"

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

'If he's innocent, why does he need such a hot-shot lawyer?'

Top Secret

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

Sherlock Holmes and the case of the tea.

'Off hand, I'd say it's a head trauma caused by a blunt instrument.'

Auditing

Sherlock Holmes.

Detective with a magnifying glass.

"I think it was done with mirrors."

Detective follows footprints leading to a pair of shoes.