Sleuthing Veteran Gifts

"And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids, and the bloodstains on my clothes and in the trunk of my car!"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Joan Hickson

That's supposed to say garage sale!

The Modern Godot

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

Optician and the PI.

Private detective looking very conspicuous while the suspect is saying 'He hasn't really got the hang of discreet surveillance, has he?'

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

"The butler did it!"

'But Holmes, how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?'

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

Sherlock Holmes.

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

Auditing

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

Detective with a magnifying glass.

'...But in case God misses something...'

"I think it was done with mirrors."

Detective follows footprints leading to a pair of shoes.

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'

Detective Honky

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"