Swinging Sleuths T-Shirts

'They waltzed in, stole the cash, and waltzed out again...'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

'It's getting harder to tell when the news stops and the spin begins.'

Optician and the PI.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'Do I have a story to tell about Novox Genlab!'

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

"The butler did it!"

'I got my grant to study why the word 'COOL' persists generation after generation'

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

'Who's your Daddy?'

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

'Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks.'

The Banana Crime

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

Auditing

Sherlock Holmes.

Idenity Parade.

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

'No, I haven't found the elusive Higgs boson yet.'

"What if these guys in white coats who bring us food are, like, studying us and we're part of some kind of big experiment?"

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

"I think it was done with mirrors."

'...But in case God misses something...'

Detective follows footprints leading to a pair of shoes.

"I'm looking for justice."

Heisenberg Witness Protection Program

"If nature abhors a vacuum, why is the universe so full of it?"

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'