Swing Stylist Gifts

Golf - Putting green.

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"This never happened."

Swinging

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

Swing

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

'Where's my horse?'

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

Automatic swing machine

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

A bride and a groom on a swing

Stone henge swing.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Jenkins and Caldwell, take a lap – and that goes for anyone else I catch swing dancing."

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Duchess of Cambridge