Swinging Specialist Gifts

"Period of compete oscillation of pendulum..."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

Swinging

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"This never happened."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Not that slowly back...'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

Mood Swings.

Swing

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

'Where's my horse?'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Automatic swing machine

A bride and a groom on a swing

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

Thursday is the new Friday

Stone henge swing.

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'