Swine Scholar Gifts

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Eugene Ionesco

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

Dear Diary

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'Don't worry about it - childhood obesity doesn't apply to us'

'She hates to see me happy.'

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

Alternate corkscrew

Satan's desk boxes say mortal and venial.

'He decided he'd rather represent gluttony.'

Snow-A Thesaurus

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Human Silicon Chip: Capable of six computations per hour.

Pig to lady: 'I'm an expert at messy divorces.'

"We've received complaints that you're feeding them nothing but slop three meals a day."

'Mom, dad - this is the guy I want to spend my life with until the butcher will separate us.'

"This is wallowing that goes beyond the pale."

Mice being taught about mousetraps.

'I can't afford to feed you anymore. . .'