Intellectual Swine Gifts

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

A day at the transgenic races

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

Nervous Student

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

'Don't worry Darling, they're scientists'

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"I don't think this is what is meant by Animal Science, but it does take it to a new level!"

Dolly, Twenty Years Later

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

Cutting down the Brain

'No, its not low on toner, Dr Higgins. Just admit you don't know how to clone sheep.'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

Looking Daggers

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

Is there life after digestion?

'I think if we were to pretend to be dumb, they would lose interest in us...'

'She hates to see me happy.'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

When Intellectuals Dumb Down

They're brothers. One is very intelligent. The other is a baseball pitcher who constantly cheats. They both have a lot on the ball!

"He knows about 40 words, but most of them are for snow."