Swim Instructors Gifts

Human paddle

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Pool attached to child's bed.

'No swimming. No breathing.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"This feels like an accomplishment."

When laundry ruled the waves.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

The trim reaper

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Diver sees old lady in motorized bubble.

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

Swimming Prankster

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Exercise Bars

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

Whale Shark Thoughts...

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.