Swimming Teacher Gifts

Learning to Swim

"But I don't need to take swimming lessons. I did an online course."

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Pool attached to child's bed.

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Basketball

Swimming Prankster

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'Is the water cold?'

Bankside

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

Psychic diving competition.

'It's up to you, either synch or swim.'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

I told you not to swim out to far

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

"I'm great at dodgeball, because I don't show up for gym class."

Polo player on an inflatable horse.

Fishy tail.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

Swimming with dolphins./Swimming with a cow.

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

Sisyphus pushing a huge basketball up the hill

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'