Swimming Teacher Gifts

Learning to Swim

"But I don't need to take swimming lessons. I did an online course."

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Basketball

Swimming Prankster

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

'Is the water cold?'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Bankside

Psychic diving competition.

'It's up to you, either synch or swim.'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

I told you not to swim out to far

Polo player on an inflatable horse.

"I'm great at dodgeball, because I don't show up for gym class."

''What I Did Over Summer Vacation,' by Craig Martin.'

Fishy tail.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Swimming with dolphins./Swimming with a cow.

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

"It feels good to finally get my feet wet."

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'