Sweaty Strategist Gifts

Three Pointless Things to Do This Week: Break into a sweat/Search for the Hero Inside Yourself/Toy with the Idea of Leaving Your Husband or Wife.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

Book on Thumb Twiddling

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

Bummer Time Streaming

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

"George is going for the Guinness World Record for just sitting."

Sport

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

'The classic pinstripe with construction boots delivers the authoritative butt-kicking power needed for Monday morning meetings.'

'This is Phillips. He's our new idea man.'

'War is heck!'

"I work too hard, I think I need to spend more time with the children... Do we have any?"

"Brilliant idea of yours,darling-only inviting no-sweet tooths!"

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

With the Latest Snow and Frigid Cold Things to Consider . . .

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

312 - Eat A Lot On The First Date