Sweet Strategist Gifts

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Marketing Fails no.972

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

Bored Baker

CX909708

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

"What do you get for the man who complains about everything?"

'The classic pinstripe with construction boots delivers the authoritative butt-kicking power needed for Monday morning meetings.'

"Neither of us are dentists." "True, but we're saving a fortune on candy." "They probably give out healthy stuff." "Let's go next door."

"The sales figures are now in and I would like Tom to chew over them this weekend."

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."