Candy Strategist Gifts

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Kids in spooky costumes doing trick or treat

Chez Nous Menu

Little league world series of poker.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

Making healthy eating bearable.

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

Bored Baker

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

"Med Brittle"

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'