Sweater Wearers Gifts

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Romance

Things I've learned...

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

'You've got me all wrong, baby. I don't want to touch your sweater...I want to eat it.'

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

Academia in Winter

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

My tail's cold.

"We can only distract the shareholders with our ugly Christmas sweaters for so long."

Keeping Warm

"Everyone's always calling my sweaters ugly."

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

'Well this is awkward.'

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

Reindeer Sweater

"Leo and I know how much you like your Christmas sweater, so we thought we'd make you one ourselves this year."

You may enter but the Christmas sweater has to go!

Turtleneck Alternatives

Despite what his friends said about 'ugly Christmas sweaters', Chester couldn't wait to have his holiday pet photo taken...'

They're bred specifically for the holiday season.

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

"Nothing like that first sweater of the season, 'ay Nance?"