Sweater Lovers Gifts

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Romance

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Rock on Grandma!

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

Academia in Winter

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"We can only distract the shareholders with our ugly Christmas sweaters for so long."

Keeping Warm

"Everyone's always calling my sweaters ugly."

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

The hand-knitted Xmas jumper...

'Well this is awkward.'

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

Reindeer Sweater

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a cat. Why do you ask?"

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"