Sweater Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm knitting you a sweater. Do you want it too big or too small?'

'Hey, nice Christmas sweater, Al. I really like how your man-boobs make the reindeer look 3D!'

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Reindeer Sweater

'You should have knitted me into a pretty sweater when you had the chance!'

"Oh, granddad! That sweater is SO you!"

Christmas sweater alternatives

"It was a crime of fashion."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

Turtleneck Alternatives

"Oh yes, Mother. Jason really loves the sweater you've knitted him for Christmas."

'You've got a new Christmas sweater!'

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

The breeding sweaters aren't for sale.

"I'd move to Florida if I didn't have so much invested in sweaters."

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

Romance

"That shirt is so last year."

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Academia in Winter

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

cat singing into microphone

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"We can only distract the shareholders with our ugly Christmas sweaters for so long."

"Everyone's always calling my sweaters ugly."

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."