Swashbuckling Aficionados Gifts

"We should make it past the rocks by nightfall, provided our luck holds."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Shred the plank."

Pirate eye test

"Cap'n FancyPants got himself an i-Patch."

After selling his life story, with movie and merchandising rights, Zorro had a new mark.

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Even pirates have kids. 'Look, mom...no hands!'

'It's the last time you get shore leave on your own!'

Have a very piratical Birthday

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

Pirate Artist

Funk Facts: Pirates.

"I'm slippin' ashore for some last minute essentials..."

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

'I teach history specializing in swashbuckling.'

As his ship sank,Robinson Crusoe was washed ashore by the currant.

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

Pirate Schools

Pirate

'Well - unbuckle and get swashing.'

'Now, let's try a Waltz. Don't worry about me though, I'm wearing safety boots...'

'Guess who?'

Pirate baby.

Manure as Fertilizer and other Tales of Derring-Doo.

Clara and the Nutcracker

'Don't worry, Jerry, we have a car. I mean, what animal could keep up with a car?'

Errol Flynn.

'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'