Swag Bag Survivor Pillows

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

'Does my bum bag look big in this'

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"What makes you think I have buck fever?"

'Face it, Al, there's no business like show business for you anymore.'

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

"You been here long?"

"An exclusive group. Each survived three scandals and was re-elected."

"Negative, Captain. Conditions here extremely hostile to rockabilly."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"It's OK, it's just pee."

'Hey,Fred- I can hear the sea!'

Work Meeting Rules

"Now get down there and make a sale."

"It's sad how you've let yourself go since you stopped modeling."

'This is even better than HEADLIGHTS!'

'Another October 30, another failed Halloween candy sleepover.'

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

He was an early riser. She knew it, but never really got used to it.

'When this is over with, I'm going to need a LOT of aromatherapy!'

The meaning of life.

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

'Is that a Tesco's carrier bag?'

'Don't say: 'I got caught in a mousetrap.' Say: 'I'm a mousetrap survivor.''

'Okay, so I had one bad day.'