Sustainable Storytellers Gifts

'We learned in school today that Johnny Appleseed was an environmental activist.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

The Environmentalist

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Pastries and Candy

Home Sweet Home

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Are we there yet?'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'He was a great writer'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Jorge Luis Borges

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'