Sustainable Storyteller Gifts

Harvesting the wind: 'Blah, blah, blah. . .'

"We used your unsold copies to build a tree, but it's not the same."

Robinson Crusoe new he was in trouble when he saw his carbon footprint.

Ed Goes Green

A Word from Margaret Atwood: 'As I mentioned yesterday, my new book is printed on wheat straw!'

The Environmentalist

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

The Origins of Everything

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."