Survivalist In The Office Gifts

'You can keep your job if you can come up with a satisfactory description of it.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Late/Too Late.

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

'Arf! Arf!'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Yes, I'm alone."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

Cafe Burns.

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

Getting through the week.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'