Survivalist In The Office Gifts

'You can keep your job if you can come up with a satisfactory description of it.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

Late/Too Late.

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'Arf! Arf!'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Office Weather

"Yes, I'm alone."

Cafe Burns.

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Getting through the week.

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".