Survival Scenario Seeker Gifts

"It's for you. You've got jury duty."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

65 Million Years Ago

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"Caught another one!" "Let's eat!"

Desert Island Mishap

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I hate evolution!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

The trap

Help! Send fishing tackle!

Prepper Dog

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

"Look, we're all thirsty. You don't see me whining about it."

Natural Cycles in the Office Environment

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

"Just junk mail."